六四啊六四

雖然才剛聲稱自己對如今的中國是怎樣/會怎樣真的已經沒興趣在意，但日子只要一到了六四，又有新感觸。

第一個感觸是幹！是第31年嗎(請原諒我對歲月流逝的驚訝)？

回學校讀書這兩年，最常讀到的字是populism，就是台灣人常常掛在嘴上的民粹主義。學術界的民粹主義已經有所謂的2.0版本，喔！沒錯，不用懷疑，就是韓國瑜崛起這一版。民粹主義2.0版往往伴隨著大量新聞操作，於是一個國家往往被分為兩種版本，每一種版本都有輿論支撐，每一種版本裡受害者委屈都是真實的，每一種版本中人們要起而對抗的都是邪惡的。於是連歐盟這樣號稱民主是基石的地區，當中許多執政黨上台第一件事就是買媒體，反對黨的優先要務亦然，買不起就邀請外國勢力共襄盛舉，先是舊時鐵幕國家，現下連奧地利還是義大利都紛紛加入，有輿論才能成王。

因此，我難免要想起六四天安門事件以及柏林圍牆倒塌的那個年代，記者們槍林彈雨冒死拍攝的真實，而我們是多麼團結一致的相信新聞畫面裡的人們所追求的信仰。在那個年代，我們對民主的共同期待、對極權主義的同仇敵愾、對學運失敗的惋惜還有為六四那一夜留下的眼淚都是真心的。

然整個世界再也回不去了。

有過25萬人，有時候是10萬人，有時候五萬人，也曾有過只剩下兩萬多人，填不滿維園，然不管中國勢力如何壓迫，抗爭嗎？也許有些香港人也累了，可說到底，香港仍是全世界唯一一個直到世界末日都會記得六四的地方。

至少我曾經這樣以為。

而我確實沒料到去年的30週年紀念活動已經是這一代人對六四最後的悼念了(好吧我承認我懷疑台灣紀念六四的能量)。

Haruki said that “between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg.”

I once sincerely believed it.

However, the side that gets to represent these "eggs" is gradually becoming a question mark in today’s world. Populism blurs the boundary between the people's voice and the actual voice that is evoked by fake news and the politicians behind it.

30 years ago, we saw something happen in Tiananmen Square and the Berlin Wall. We watched it on TV. We believed what we saw and were willing to stand up for it.

Things have changed, of course. Today, two full generations of Chinese can’t even see "6.4" on any internet website; and many European countries are also seeing their elected government try to (or already) control the media.

It seems that reminding with history is the only way to remember what we should stand and fight for.

Sometimes I feel whatever China is doing is not my business. But regarding the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and MASSACRE, I cannot and never will keep out of the affair.

(溫馨提醒之中英文非互譯。)