Lotus

　Walking through the school gate, he sees a big pool in front of him. There is a huge banyan tree behind the pool, and together, they define the west edge of the square. There is no water inside the pool, and inside, some people are cleaning the leaves. Early in the morning, there are sometimes cleaners cleaning fallen leaves on campus. Take right or left? He stops. Although the tree is not blocking his view, he stops. Sparrows are tweeting. Why is this pool here? Are they trying to force people to make decisions? Is not there an option to walk straight through? While he hears the wind blowing the tweets into his ears, the leaves of the huge banyan tree keep falling, and the cleaners keep picking them up. This is what they are paid for, and perhaps what we, students, have paid for. The sparrows keep tweeting. Does he want this? Does he want to be here? He is from here. After the years he has spent in the capital, he has come back to his hometown. Everything is familiar to him, but strangely familiar. Nothing stays the same.

　Walking through the school gate, he sees a big pool in front of him. There is a huge banyan tree behind the pool, and together, they define the west edge of the square. Still, there is no water inside the pool. Walking into the classroom, he sees green walls, grey walls, light brown wooden-like tables, and dark grey straw-like curtains. He shivers a little bit. The features of nature make us feel relaxed. At least this is what Jean Baudrillard says in The System of Objects. Humans want to see and touch nature, but we do not want to be in nature. She, mother nature, is fatal. Glass windows and doors are there keeping us from her; from her fatal attraction.

　Stepping on those umber red tiles, he stands at the centre of the small square in front of this building; there are two lotus ponds one on each side of him. Sitting opposite her, he looks straight at her. He takes a deep breath. He will definitely do it, as Liu Sheng (柳生) had done for Fu Rong (芙蓉).

“He opens his eyes. He sees a resplendent carriage stopping under the willow at the riverside. A coachman is standing in the water, and a girl with buns is standing beside the carriage. A fair-skinned wrist is sticking out of the window, pointing at the most beautiful lotus in the pond. The coachman is elderly, and it is difficult for him to move toward the lotus. Liu Sheng steers the horse into the pond, leans out, and goes straight to that beauty, petals as flame and pistils as gold. He turns around. First, he sees the handsome girl. Then, the bead curtain is lifted. Inside the window of the carriage, there sits a countenance as fair as lotus.” [1]

“Is what is between Liu Sheng and Fu Rong considered a happy ending? How about us?” He thought, “I’m already stuck in this muddy pond, ain’t I?” He exhales. What a floral smell.

　Walking through the school gate, I see a big pool in front of me. There is a huge banyan tree behind the pool, and together, they define the west edge of the square. In the pool, the water is splashing. The sun is shining through the leaves, dark green leaves. A part of the sunshine is spotting on the ground. Sparrows are tweeting. In between, the sunbeams are streaming through the leaves. No clouds in the blue sky. It is a too cheerful blue. Sweating, I am walking toward the classroom. Summer vacation, my last summer vacation, where are you? How long do I still need to see this view day after day? And I am sinking deeper and deeper into that muddy pond day after day.

[1] Translated from 張曼娟《芙蓉歌》